Derek

I'm sitting in Derek's home office, typing this at his desk, surrounded by his CDs and his books, looking at pictures of him and the people he loved, comforted by his cat sleeping a few feet away.

Although I desperately wanted to see Sari, I admit I was a bit apprehensive about staying here until my stuff arrives from Krakow. As long as I was in Poland, I could fool myself into believing Derek was still here. And I knew that there was no way I could keep his death at bay once I came back to Toronto.

But being in his space hasn't induced the grief I was scared of. Just the opposite - I feel much better being here with Sari and am comforted by staying in his house.

And now I realize, I don't have to write one letter or blog entry about Derek and what our years of friendship meant to me. There's no need for one goodbye or one final summing up. I've got so many memories and stories to share. I'll just write them down as I'm ready.